The Lariat Rides Again

Over at Ye Olde Death Valley Driver Board we have been discussing the greatness of Stan "The Lariat" Hansen, my favorite wrestler and once upon a time the most destructive force in the history of the sport, so I watched this tonight.

TERRY FUNK VS. STAN HANSEN -- ALL JAPAN PRO WRESTLING -- 9/11/82

This match is absolutely fucking electric. The crowd is rabid from the jump for Terry. He gets in the ring and the look on his face is one of fear and defiance. When Hansen gets in the ring I thought of Clarence Boddicker in Robocop saying "bitches, leave"... then one of the ring girls immediately got bowled over by the two and the serendipity was seamless. Of course they just start beating the hell out of each other and Hansen eventually gets to play "King of the Mountain" as Terry keeps bailing under the onslaught. At one point Hansen kneedrops him a couple times on the back of the head and he gets to do his spastic seizure sell. Eventually control is regained, momentarily, but Hansen is just too much. He snapmares Terry, reels back, and the camera catches this split second moment where Stan's eyes BUG THE FUCK OUT as he launches down into a chinlock. It's priceless. Everything is so tense and chippy in this, with Terry grinding into Stan's face, grabbing the kneepad to trip him, Stan daring him to get into HIS ring and play. Terry falls out of the ring on his face and wildly tosses a chair over the ropes which Stan catches and launches right back at him. After this Joe Higuchi gets knocked down, another ref takes his place and of course the poor dude takes the Lariat which they get a great shot of the guy making this face like someone just hit him in the gut with a 2X4 (which in reality, he just got hit in the clavicle with the human version of a piece of rebar). In the chaos one of the gaijin wrestlers helps hold Terry so Stan can nuke him with the Lariat, Joe recovers and starts counting Terry out on the floor, then realizes what went down and refuses the pinfall, at which point Stan loses it and we get Baba and Jumbo running in after the army of young boys gets mowed down. Stan sneaks out of the ring only to come in and nutshot Jumbo from behind before finally tossing chairs and skulking away while Terry has a stroke on the mat. If you don't like this match, just go find another hobby, take up badminton or something. Also of note is the great banner for Terry: "BITTER ENDER TERRY FUNK TEXAS BRONCO". Judging by his face in much of the match, this felt like the bitter end...